


Just Get Together Already

by pinkmagnolias



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders Are Siblings, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders Are Siblings, Death Threats, Deceit | Janus Sanders Uses They/Them Pronouns, Dr. Emile Picani Uses Fae/Faer Pronouns, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Deceit | Janus Sanders, Nonbinary Dr. Emile Picani, Nonbinary Sleep | Remy Sanders, Sleep | Remy Sanders Uses Ne/Nym Pronouns, Texting, but like in the vein of "you took the last slice of pizza" no one's more than mildly upset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:15:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25735648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkmagnolias/pseuds/pinkmagnolias
Summary: Janus and Roman are Dense™. Everyone and their boyfriend is tired of this.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 124





	Just Get Together Already

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oohhoneyhoney](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=oohhoneyhoney).



> guide to the chat names:
> 
> roman lettuce/rom(an)eo: roman  
> too tired for this/i'm dating two idiots/like my soul: virgil  
> mr. snekman: janus  
> and suddenly/im the twin of an idiot: remus  
> i'm the brother of an idiot/have a patton the back: patton  
> excuse you: remy

“Amor, I hate to ask, but… are you cheating on me?”

“No! I would never!”

His reply comes a little quickly, however, and Rose narrows her eyes suspiciously. “So I have no need to fight anyone for your hand?”

“I will fight you!” Someone leaps out from around the corner and both of them gasp at the newcomer. They’re wearing a domino mask, obscuring their identity until they declare, “It is I! Janice! I have come to win Vincent’s heart!”

“Then fight me!” Rose responds, drawing her sword, and Janice mirrors her. They both crouch, each watching for the slightest twitch that will give away the other’s attack. At the same time, they lunge towards each other, sword meeting sword and steel clashing together.

“And now I’m too lazy and also it sounds really tedious to make you take turns stabbing at each other, so we’ll just have you both roll and whoever gets higher wins the sword fight. Sound good?”

“But where’s the _drama_ in that? The tension of their rivalry? The excitement of forcing one to yield?” Roman laments, then gasps. “Do we not even get to see who draws first blood?”

“Janice leaves her side undefended for a split second too long and Rose manages to nick her arm,” Remy deadpans. “Happy?”

“I _suppose_ ,” Roman groans.

“If you don’t think you’re _good enough_ to beat me in a single roll…” Janus trails off, raising an eyebrow.

“Ha!” Roman scoffs. “Grab your dice, loser, I’ve got a +5 to dexterity and I am _not_ going to concede victory to someone with a 0 modifier.” He pauses, looking over to Remy. “This _is_ a dexterity roll, right?”

“Yeah, sure.” Remy waves nis hand. Roman and Janus both roll, Roman so dramatically that his die falls off the table and he has to search the floor.

“Haha! 12 plus 5 equals 17!” Roman cheers, picking up the die, at the same time Janus calls out, “17.”

“What?” Roman asks. “No it’s not. Let me see.” He peers over at their die. “Huh. It’s a tie.” He looks up at Remy. “What does that mean?”

“It _means_ ,” Virgil interjects, “that right as one of you is about to force the other to yield, Vincent cries out, ‘Wait!’ and runs between you.

“‘There is no need to fight for my hand when I have two,’ he says. ‘I can simply date both of you; it shouldn’t come to _this_. What do you say?’”

“Rose instinctively scoffs at the offer. Share Vincent? With _Janice_? Inconceivable!” Janus levels Roman a Look, and he continues hastily, “ _But_ when she sees that her close-mindedness would lose her her love, she acquiesces.”

“Janice accepts the offer at once, happy to stay with her lover and have a solution that works out for all of them.”

“And so the three of them—I don’t know, cuddle or something—and live happily ever after until the next adventure.” Remy concludes.

“Now that this plot is resolved, can we fight some dragons or something?” Roman asks eagerly.

“Yeah!” Virgil seconds. “This is DnD, not some reality TV drama; the relationship stuff is interesting enough, but it doesn’t really scream adventure.”

“ _Look_ , girls, I’m DMing the best I can, okay? If you don’t like it find someone else to deal with the three of you,” Remy tells them. “I promise next time it’ll be more exciting or whatever, but figuring out the relationship stuff is necessary.” Ne shrugs. “If that doesn’t ‘scream adventure’ to you then congratulations, the boring part’s over.”

“It’s not _boring_ ,” Virgil protests.

Remy stands up. “Whatever, doll. I’m gonna go get more Starbies.” Ne leaves.

Virgil slumps back in his chair. “I pissed nym off, didn’t I?”

“It was a group effort,” Roman offers.

“Ne’ll get over it; give nym some time to cool down and then say you like nis DMing and it’ll be fine,” Janus says.

“Alright.” Virgil nods. “Thanks.”

“No problem, dear.”

* * *

**roman lettuce:** you gays wanna go to the mall later?

 **too tired for this:** sure

 **mr. snekman:** sure

 **and suddenly:** sure

 **roman lettuce:** ew who said you could come

 **and suddenly:** you asked the whole chat

 **roman lettuce:** so?????

* * *

“I still don’t see why _he_ has to come,” Roman sighs.

“Because he’s my friend, and Janus’s friend, and you _did_ ask the whole chat,” Virgil points out. “He wanted to come; just because you’re his brother doesn’t mean you get to ban him from hanging out with us.”

“But I’m your _boyfriend_ ,” Roman tries. “Surely that counts for something?”

Virgil hums consideringly, looking him up and down. “You aren’t _that_ pretty.”

“Hey!”

Virgil snickers, bumping their shoulders. “Relax, I’m kidding.”

Roman huffs, brushing imaginary wrinkles out of his shirt. “I know,” he mumbles.

“Princey, seriously, I was joking. You’re gorgeous.”

“Princey?” Roman echoes. “That’s a new one.”

“Yeah, because you’re my Prince Charming.” Roman’s face flames at that, and Virgil smirks.

“Now, do you want to keep complaining about your brother being here when you really don’t mind that much, or do you want to accompany me to Claire’s so we can pretend you dragged me there and I can get new nail polish while maintaining my image?”

“Oooh, I wanna see if they have any new sparkly ones!” Roman says excitedly, then pauses. “Promise not to complain if I take a while looking at earrings and stuff?”

“Maximum of twice, and purely to keep up edgy appearances,” Virgil promises.

“Good enough! Onward!” Roman grabs his hand and drags him through the mall.

It’s half an hour later when they’re leaving Claire’s that either of them think to ask where the other half of their group went.

“Welllll, Remus will probably have dragged Janus to Spencer’s—” Roman starts.

“Right, and Janus will say they went along so they wouldn’t be alone but mostly went to look around, too—”

“—but by now they’ll be done looking and maybe have bought something, so probably best to not look there—”

“—and Janus will probably insist they need food if they’re going to deal with Remus any longer, plus they’re probably wondering where we are too, _and_ they know how much I love snacking while wandering around the mall, so they probably dragged Remus to the food court to eat and also wait for us to show up.” Virgil concludes.

“Brilliant as always, amor,” Roman says, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

Virgil flushes a little. “You too.”

“And so eloquent!” Roman teases. Virgil elbows him.

“Let’s just go find the others.”

* * *

“ _So_ ,” Remus stretches the word out until he’s completely out of breath.

Janus rolls their eyes. “Yes?”

“You wanna help me see how many fries I can shove in my mouth before I choke on them?” Remus wiggles his eyebrows.

“No,” Janus deadpans, wondering if it’s too soon to roll their eyes again. Is there a specific amount of time that needs to elapse between eyerolls? Not important.

“Okay!” Remus says, dropping the topic much too quickly. Janus squints at him. “Let’s talk about Roman, then.”

Janus squints harder. “What _about_ Roman?”

“How you want to date him.” And there it is.

“Let’s go back to the fry thing,” Janus tries. Remus cackles.

“Nope!”

Janus sighs. “ _Fine_. Why do you think I want to date Roman?” 

“ _Please_ , I’ve seen the way you look at him. And the way he looks at you! You two should get over yourselves and just kiss already.”

Janus ignores most of what Remus said to ask, “What about Virgil?”

“He’s dating both of you! He’s not going to care.”

“This is _Virgil_ we’re talking about; he’d probably think we were leaving him for each other,” Janus points out.

“Yeahhh,” Remus agrees. “Hm.”

“And speaking of Virgil, just because Roman’s willing to be metamours with me doesn’t mean he wants to date me,” Janus tells him.

Remus sighs. “But he _does_ want to date you.”

“Who wants to date Janus?” Roman interjects, he and Virgil walking over to them.

“Me,” Virgil says, sliding into the booth next to them and squeezing their hand, smiling at them.

“An idiot,” Remus says, grinning sharply at Roman. “Not that you’re an idiot, V, or that anyone wanting to date you is an idiot for it, JanJan.”

Virgil sighs lowly. “Thanks, Rem.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey! Do you guys want to see how many fries I can fit into my mouth before I choke on them?”

“ _Why_?” Roman groans. Virgil simply scrunches up his face.

Remus sighs. “You’re all so _boring_.”

* * *

“So. Roman.” Patton perches on Roman’s bed and smiles widely at him. He doesn’t say anything else.

“So?” Roman echoes after a moment.

“You and Remus went to the mall today?” Patton asks. “With Virgil and _Janus_?”

“Yeah?” Roman asks. They’d told Patton that when they left, why is he asking when he already knows that? And, “What’s with the emphasis on Janus’s name?” Patton smiles cryptically.

“Get anything new?”

“I got some nail polish?” Roman offers. “Matte pastel blue.” Patton’s eyes widen with interest, but it doesn’t seem like that’s the answer he’s looking for.

“Anything else?” At Roman’s bewildered, get-to-your-point look, he adds, “Liiiiiiike a datemate, maybe?”

Roman blushes bright red. “No! Janus doesn’t like me like that.” Patton sighs. “No, don’t _sigh_ at me like that, they don’t!”

“If you say so,” Patton singsongs.

“I _do_ say so,” Roman says, a little disgruntled by how clearly Patton doesn’t believe him. “They’ve given zero indication that they like me, and I don’t even know if they’re poly or not! And even if they are poly, why would they like me? Just because we’re both dating Virgil doesn’t mean they’re interested in me too.”

“Ignoring the many indications that they like you that you’re just too oblivious to notice, they would like you because you’re pretty, and kind, and a good person, and you try your best and don’t give up, and you’re always unapologetically yourself, which is really admirable, and you’re amazing.”

Roman, embarrassed from such praise, skips over genuinely reacting to it to gasp dramatically. “Patton! You’re my brother! You’re not supposed to like me.”

“So you know you’re getting a critical, objective opinion when I say all this,” Patton grins.

“Doesn’t it being an opinion mean that it _can’t_ be objective?” Roman asks.

“Irrelevant!”

* * *

**i’m the brother of an idiot:** I’m going to go insane :)

 **i’m dating two idiots:** elaborate??

 **i’m the brother of an idiot:** Direct quote from Roman about Janus “they’ve given 0 indication they like me” yes they have???

 **i’m dating two idiots:** ah

 **i’m dating two idiots:** understandable, have a nice day

 **i’m the brother of an idiot:** Thank u

 **im the twin of an idiot:** can i pls just lokc them in a closet oh my god

 **i’m dating two idiots:** u know what

 **i’m dating two idiots:** lemme do my plan

 **i’m dating two idiots:** and if that doesn’t work go wild

 **im the twin of an idiot:** alright fine

* * *

“Aw, yeah, date night with the homies.” Virgil flops onto the couch in between Roman and Janus. “What movie are we watching?”

“Before the two of you say anything,” Roman starts, and Janus groans. “ _Before the two of you say anything,_ just hear me out.”

“Must we?” Janus asks.

“Unfortunately,” Virgil teases.

“You both may be wondering, ‘Roman, haven’t you watched this movie enough times to have memorized the script? When will it be enough?’ And to that I reply that there are never enough times you can watch Tangled.”

“Didn’t we watch that last movie night?” Janus asks.

“I refer you to ‘there are never enough times you can watch Tangled,’” Roman declares, and Janus sighs.

“At least you have the taste to pick a _good_ movie to watch a million times.”

Roman doesn’t dignify that with a response, clicking play and settling in.

After Tangled, they watched Treasure Planet (or, well, half of it. They paused it in the middle to make a blanket fort and never got around to unpausing it).

“Roman. I love you.”

“I love you too!” Roman adds quickly. Virgil raises his hand.

“But I _am_ going to kill you.”

“Corazón,” Roman tries. “Light of my life.” Virgil shakes his head.

“You looked me directly in the eyes and put that +4 wild down, Roman; you asked for this.” Roman sighs.

“I accept my fate.”

“Good.” Virgil leans over and kisses him, booping Roman’s nose as he pulls away. “Boop. You’re dead.”

“Alas!” Roman cries, dramatically falling back onto the floor and sticking his tongue out. He stays there while Virgil and Janus take their turns, then picks up his cards “stealthily” and cracks an eye open. “Uno,” he declares, putting a card on the pile, before dropping his cards and going back to being “dead.”

Virgil frowns at his cards, draws one, sighs and places it on the pile, then stands up. “I gotta go to the bathroom, be right back. You guys can play without me.”

“Alright,” Janus says.

Virgil hopes it’s not blatantly obvious that he’s leaving to try and get the two of them together. Virgil’s UNO deck has some of the write-in cards, and he’d taken that opportunity to create a card that said “Kiss one of the other players or draw 25.” And if he’d used his ability to count cards to make sure that Roman would get that one, knowing that Roman is fiercely competitive and hates losing, then, well, it was his and Janus’s fault for being so dense that he had to resort to this to try and get them to admit they like each other.

He just hopes Janus—who helped him learn to count cards in the first place—doesn’t put two and two together and realize what Virgil’d done. Or at least if they do, then they don’t ruin the plan.

He loiters in the bathroom for a couple minutes, eventually flushing the toilet, running the sink for a minute, and heading back out.

Roman’s holding a bunch of cards. Seriously? They didn’t even have to kiss on the lips; the card hadn’t specified. He could’ve kissed Janus’s cheek and called it good!

“Did you guys start another round without me?” Virgil asks, hoping his first instinct is wrong.

“No,” Roman says, smiling sheepishly. “I got a card that says I had to kiss another player or draw 25 cards, and you weren’t here, so…”

Virgil resists the urge to sigh loudly.

* * *

**i’m dating two idiots:** @i’m the twin of an idiot alright

 **im the twin of an idiot:** LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

* * *

“Remus!” Roman shouts, pounding on the door. “Let us out of here!” His only response is a cackling laugh. “ _Remus_!”

He tries the knob, hoping it might be unlocked. No dice.

“ _Do_ keep banging on the door,” Janus snarks. “That’ll totally get us out.”

“You have a better plan?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. We text our friends and get one of them to come get us out of here.”

“Oh. Huh. That’s actually really smart.”

“Why, thank you.” Janus rolls their eyes.

“I didn’t mean it like you’re not usually smart!” Roman corrects quickly. “I just would never have thought of that.”

“Well, hopefully you thought to bring your phone in here?” Janus asks, a little sheepishly. “I left mine in my jacket pocket.”

Roman rolls his eyes and pulls out his phone.

* * *

**rom(an)eo:** hey

 **rom(an)eo:** remus locked me and janus in a closet

 **rom(an)eo:** pls come get us out?

 **have a patton the back:** Well,,,, I _would_ ,,,,, if this didn’t sound like a really great opportunity for you to finally confess to Janus,,,,,,,,

 **rom(an)eo:** _patton_

 **have a patton the back:** :)

 **rom(an)eo:** patton cmon please

 **have a patton the back:** :)

* * *

**rom(an)eo:** amor remus locked both your loves in a closet pls come get us out??

 **like my soul:** I’m driving right now and can’t respond further. I’ll see your message when I get where I’m going

 **like my soul:** (I’m not receiving notifications. If this is urgent, reply “urgent” to send a notification through with your original message.)

 **rom(an)eo:** darn

* * *

**rom(an)eo:** remy can you come get me and janus we’re locked in a closet?

 **excuse you:** o tea??

 **rom(an)eo:** no

 **rom(an)eo:** no tea

 **rom(an)eo:** just come help us

 **excuse you:** idk babes

 **excuse you:** first u don’t sound v sure of whether you’re locked in a closet or not

 **excuse you:** now you’re denying me my lifeblood

 **excuse you:** idk where all this attitude is coming from but it has Got To Go

 **rom(an)eo:** wait remy please??

 **rom(an)eo:** remy??

* * *

Roman sighs. “Our friends are all useless.”

“All of them?”

“Yeah; Remus is the one who locked us in here in the first place and Remy is more interested in the drama of it then coming and helping us,” Roman tells them. “I texted Virgil but he’s driving.”

“Emile?” Janus suggests.

“I don’t have faer number, and I’m guessing you don’t know it well enough to call faer?” Janus shakes their head, and Roman frowns.

“Well, what about Patton?”

“He said—I mean,” Roman corrects quickly, “he’s not going to help.”

Janus frowns slightly. “What’d he say?”

“Nothing,” Roman tries, but Janus isn’t having it.

“Did you annoy him and now he’s refusing to help because he’s upset, or something?” Janus demands. “It can’t be that bad, just tell me what it is or make it up with Patton so he’ll get us out of here.”

“He’s not mad at me,” Roman mumbles.

“Then why isn’t he coming?”

“I…” Roman pulls up his conversation with Patton and shoves his phone at Janus, hoping they’ll understand and he won’t have to say anything.

Instead, because the universe hates him, they look over at him confusedly. “‘Confess’?”

“Yeah…”

“What does Patton want you to confess to me?” Roman is going to kill Remus once he gets out of here.

“I like you,” he whispers, squeezing his eyes shut.

There’s a few agonizing moments of silence before Janus whispers back, “Me too.”

Roman lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, eyes popping open to scrutinize Janus. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Janus tells him, smiling a little at him. He smiles back.

Then he breaks eye contact, looking over at the door, and tells them, “Great news! The door doesn’t open with a confession. Any other ideas?”

Janus snorts. “You could tell Patton we confessed and have him come get us?”

“ _Or_ ,” Roman suggests, eyes lighting up with mischief, “ _counterpoint_ : we don’t tell him and pretend we still haven’t gotten together to spite him—wait. Are we dating now?”

“I mean, I’m down if you’re down.” They lift one shoulder in a half-shrug.

“I’m definitely down.”

“Then I guess we’re dating now,” Janus says, snaking their hand into his. Roman squeezes it, and Janus squeezes back.

“So. Spiting Patton?”

“Oh, definitely.”

* * *

“I _can’t believe_ you got _locked in a closet with him_ and you didn’t confess!” Patton complains. “I mean, I even brought it up! It can’t be that the idea never crossed you. And! This is literally the stuff of fanfiction and movies! It would’ve been perfect.”

“Maybe for you,” Roman points out, squashing down a smirk. “Can you imagine for me, though? I just got trapped in a tiny closet by my twin and all my friends refuse to help me. How is _that_ romantic?”

“Still,” Patton pouts.

(Two weeks later, Patton walks in on Roman and Janus kissing and screams.)


End file.
